The mind and body are reciprocative to each other, and equal attention to both will help a perfect balance of achieving self-love- identity to fraternity, placement in the peer groups, society and world around us. Our goal is everlasting happiness, breathing space, aspirations fulfilled and solace, with silent self-decisiveness and wisdom. Humans are wrested with enormous intellect, awareness, planning, feelings which decide one’s own good living despite enormous biological and environmental challenges. Prima faces humans are emotional, and live in diversified situations, although majority wants unanimity; with healthy interpersonal relations enjoying the best available from Mother Nature. We spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about people, interacting with them, influencing them and being influenced by them. We crave social contact and wish good relationships with siblings, friends, romantic partners, parents, relatives and environment around us. A typical relationship is built through a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring towards the person the relationship is concerned to. The conception of relationship encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of family. Perhaps thinking about close relationships is the equivalent of vitamins. Taking vitamins helps fight off winter illnesses, such as colds and flu. Likewise, thinking about close relationships helps fight off life adversities. More succinctly, bringing to mind close relationships helps lessen the blow of stressful life events
Personality takes highly individualist traits and shapes us around twenty years of age which goes long way along with magnanimous acclimatization, which lead to comfortable living; despite ever changing demands and challenges of time. At an individual level a gap between aspirations and achievements parallels contentment level. Increased gap results anxiety, stress with unjustified social behavior; while once gap between aspiration and achievement decreases, silently greed increases aspirations and an individual comes to same cross road.
With ever burgeoning progress in all walks of life, more in science and technology we all are better informed with unimaginable information SOS in any part of the world. Majority have been entrapped in self-gratification at the cost of one’s commitment to their family or interpersonal relations. Better finances, health services and education with poor emotional intelligence peer group is taken for granted, not nurturing relationship with time, symbiotic give and take. Over the period passions and compassions has been taken over by obsessions and compulsions. Trust issues may include factors such as jealousy, possessiveness, unreasonable rigidity, emotional infidelity, physical/sexual infidelity, relational game playing, lack of reliability and dependability, lack of emotional support, lack of financial compatibility, and lack of mutually-supportive goals. When stress becomes overwhelming and prolonged, the risks for mental health and medical problems increase. Long-term stress increases the risk of anxiety, poor initiative, irritability, hopelessness, loss of confidence, drive with symptoms like headache, body aches pins, broken sleep and depression, substance use problems, may trigger abnormal psychological traits.
All of us are faced with one or other type of such situations ending into relationship fatigue. The later can be seen more in families having disabled children, child abuse, unhealthy parenting, chronic poorly treatable diseases, long working hours, caring old parents, financial issues, personality mismatch, dementia, and depression with psycho somatic disorders. Environmental calamities exhaust the left over stress reserve and thereby affect interpersonal relationship adversely leading to social dis-abeyance, unrest, frustrations, addictions, rape, divorce, adultery, isolation, broken homes. We are passing through a rough time facing a challenging threat to life – COVAD 19 Pandemic. Home isolation for months has affected family members, families in both good and bad ways. We do see various colors of mood like apathy, empathy, antipathy in COVAD Pandemic. The more people die less we care. Catastrophes affect behavior, empathy dissolves and apathy may run riot. Antipathies also can manifest in human beings who are role models of kindness and compassions. I have seen many incidents where behaviors have been far from empathetic and appropriate.
Ego, identity [name/ fame/ acquisitions/ accreditations] to fraternity may be more attached to awareness to one’s looks, feel and gratification of the body and its needs overlooking the mind, spirit and the driving force – energy (Chetna) appears as if being the seedling of our life; defining purpose of living and driving force till an individual have some kind of needs, aspirations driven by good body, mind with fulfillment of emotions and good feelings.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, and your values become your destiny.” — Mahatma Gandhi
Mindsets provide us with fragmented ways of looking at the world, never with complete facts of what is what. We always see the world through the filter of our mindsets and our mindsets are always incomplete. “Sankalpmai Sharisti” Tubular rather than holistic perception.
Son: Dad please don’t visit hospital to check on your sister who has been admitted with Corona 19, while you have been called by the attending doctor for medical management issues.
Father: I need to see the doctor to sign a consent form, discuss the prognosis of the disease. Moreover I love my sister, for whom my visit is important
Son: It sounds OK, let someone else go and you can discuss the matter with the doctor on phone. I am very much concerned about you, and you know in our small family each member is very important.
Father: I am upset by your attitude and think are you going to do the same with your sister or may be me, in case need be.
These are common scenarios when families view themselves as a small unit and not as a large whole. Excessive fear leads to self-preservation of the closest kith and clan. Apathy takes over empathy and reasons dies.
Solutions: Deep concern, listening to the family members and their fear without judgment helps most of the cases. Others in the family or extended family, peers can help. Overwhelming fears can be due to faulty belief, ill filled information, which needs to be explored by the Psychologist. The myth that mental health intervention needs to begin much later in a disaster is not true. It should start alongside and psychologist, sociologist, administrators, media and NGO’s should work together with Pandemic staff. Fear of one’s own life may lead to blocking of all bad news. It may be protective mechanism but also can be viewed as apathy.
If you find it hard to have an emotional reaction to anything—even small positive things like jokes and laughter—your emotional reserves may be literally gone. “Physical and Emotional depletion” can result compassion fatigue which usually display a lack of empathy or indifference toward the person they’re caring for. Relationship burnout leads to apathy- while good living and social hygiene requires apathy to be converted back to empathy.
Once stress keeps increasing, one broaches quitting a good job, which is not a reasonable financial option. In the midst of all this, other factors of caring chronic diseases eventually lead to- sad thought creeping deep in to one’s consciousness, and thus conversations become increasingly inescapable/ unmanageable, affecting romantic bonds “Stress eats away at the resources we need for effective relationship behaviors,” As a result we are more likely to engage in negative forms of communication like being more critical, angry and impatient toward our partners. Stress is bumper-to-bumper traffic when you’re in a hurry and puts the body and mind on the edge. New research supports speeding up the aging process. Remember the bad moments vividly with flooding of thoughts, experiencing exhaustion, dwindling emotions, and a loss of interest in something that formerly engaged you, with guilt and feelings of frustration, pessimism, and exhaustion. Resentment grows when someone feels unheard or dismissed, increase in disrespect, Dishonesty, Mistrust, Distancing, Defensiveness and Contempt boils up.
According to the National Crime Record Bureau, 109 children in India face some form of child sexual abuse every day, Feb-2021. The same records show a sharp rise in crimes against children on a year on year basis. Unlike most other crimes, heinous crimes against children are often reported less. Most important causes of child abuse can be emotional abuse, poverty, ‘deficient’ parental control and non-cordial family relations. Such chronic stress during childhood and adolescent can lead or trigger to Psychopathy seen in the form of behavioral abnormalities, anger, impulsivity, irresponsibility, shallow emotions, lack of empathy, guilt, or remorse, pathological lying, and persistent violation of social norms and expectations. Living with a disability can impact on your emotional life. It can change the way you feel about yourself and those around you. Caregivers of mentally ill children experience various psychological and emotional, social, and economic challenges.
Emotional burnout and chronic stress may set in lack of commitment, conflict and arguing, financial problems, substance abuse, domestic violence in changing life styles with financial independence is causing weakened marital bonds leading to separation, fidelity, divorce.
The primary effect of the divorce and the preceding parental conflicts is a decline in the relationship between parent and child. Immediately after divorce most parents have two sets of problem; their adjustment to their own mindset and to their role as a divorced parent
Dementia can affect all aspects of a person’s life, including relationships with family and friends. If you have been diagnosed with dementia, you’ll probably find that your relationships with others will change over time. Domiciliary care in nice family system in India helps better quality care in our ever increasing old age population. However for the care taker this is a taxing job and a fight against a loosed war.
USE IT OR LOOSE IT. Our mind is our strongest weapon and we can either let it consume us or let it program us towards a more productive, happy and healthy life styles. Contrary to old belief that brain does not regenerate its proper continuous use results in grey matter and its connection regeneration. This self-initiated reprogramming helps enormously addressing good quality and quantity of life even in Alzheimer Dementia.
Dr. R. R. Kishore, MD, LLB Advocate Supreme Court of India President, Indian Society for Health Laws and Ethics, Telfax: 91-11-40570705; Mob: 9667937465 email: [email protected] That time of year thou mayst in me beholdWhen yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hangUpon those boughs which shake against the cold,Bare ruined choirs, where late the
Dr. Suresh Bansal is highly experienced Neurologist having nearly 55 years experience in the health services of Himanchal Pradesh, India: Post Graduate Institute of Medical Education and Research, and in practice. To understand the brain and the mind is a difficult subject. As I go through his videos on this subject I am of the
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Dr. Suresh Bansal, our President of IAAM is a senior neurologist who had devoted lot of time in studying human behavior and its affects on interpersonal relationships with the people from various walks of life. Though he has not mentioned but this is evident from his presentation that the human behavior is going to have
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One Comment
Relationship Fatigue is unusually common amongst the people of all walks of life particularly at a time when one is young, busy in profession and full of aspiration and more so does not think of keeping the relationship alive. As one goes through the various difficulties faced in life and gains maturity, one realizes the importance of relationship. Dr Suresh Bansal has lucidly covered the term relationship, causes for its fatigue with examples and pictures. The coverage on coping with Relationship fatigue is exhaustive. He is a physician and a neurologist. To know about the functioning of the brain and mind particularly on relationship and its fatigue is perhaps beyond his medical qualifications. He is more a psychologist, a matured humane being and practical. There is scarce literature on this score.
This is masterly and intelligent presentation on a difficult subject. The suggestions given by him as to how to check Relationship Fatigue and manage it is practical. This article should be read by every human being belonging to any profession, sex, caste and creed.
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